Who Izt ze Greater Artist? Ze Chris Burden or ze Steve-O?

I posted again on ze glazztire. Here izt ze article http://glasstire.com/2013/11/10/new-york-now-14-chris-burden/#comment-118255 unt here izt vat I said:

I really hate to repeat meinself again unt again unt again and again unt again unt again unt again unt again unt again but I know a lot of you have only heard of me in ze hiztory books and I vant you to get to know ze real me before I talk about ze art becauze I have unt really bat rap unt I vant to dizpell zome of ze rumorz unt tell you of mein love for ze art zen I vant to zay a zing or two about ze article.

I know vat you are zinking. You are zinking “Oh no, Adolf cannot pozibly have anyzing gut to contribute to ze art vurlt.” Zis ist not true!!! I have plenty of zings to say about art! This is vhy I am back from ze det! Yet I feel that I shoot clarify a vew of ze mizaprehenzions about meinself beforehand.

Yez, I am responsible for the death of millions of people but it vas an accident! I vas at an important meeting viz all of ze movers unt der shakers of mein day unt ve vere eating frankenkraunzenbrenvinbrillers unt talking politics. I vas listening to Her Goring prattle on about zis unt zat and I took a drink of mien juice to vash down a bite of strudel. The juize was vile! It vas rotten! It was the most horrible, disgusting juize zat I hat ever hat in mein life and I haf very sensitive bowels unt zer is nozing more destructive for weak bowels zen rotten juize! It vas gagging on ze juice and ze strudel unt so I slammed my hand down on ze table und screamed out “Ve must get rid of ze juize!! It will invade und destroy mein colon!”

Before I knew it, six million Jewz ver dead and ve had invaded Poland. I vill never talk viz mien mouth full again! Voops!

Now, I haf plenty to say about zis article but I vant to tell you a little bit about mien art background for zose who are not vamiliar. I feel zat I have never been given credit for mien art! People point to mein dravings und mein vatercolors und zey say zat zis ist mein art. Nien! Zey ver only ze beginning!

Mein Early Art

I created the largest artist group in ze vorld! Ve vere very ahead of our time! We created art on all levels! Architecture! I redesigned ze Berlin!

Fashion! Have you ever seen our uniforms? Can you say ze vort”fabulous”?

Graphic Dezign! Talk about brand recognition!

Zer Performance Art! We did large performance art pieces viz marching soldiers und ze cheering people und hand waves!

Graffiti! Ve put Banksy to shame! “Oh, look at me I am ze Banksy unt I hung one of mein paintings in ze art museum wizout ze permission cause I am so cool”. Dummkopf! I emptied entire museums and hung whatever I wanted on the valls vizout permizion!

You zink you invented ze anti-advertising graffiti? Are you kitting? No one did anti-advertising graffiti like I did! Ve shut down entire stores unt spraypainted on ze INSIDE walls.

Video Art! Ve had a whole team of people vorking on making video art about our art project.

Curating! Ve filled museums! Ve picked art from here unt zer unt promoted ze artists zat ve liked.

Ve had artistic vision unt taste! People say “oh, ze NAZI’s were just rich people pushing their artistic taste on everyone else and manipulating ze art vorld. Do you zink ze art market iz different today? Ve vere all about ze art! Ze Zird Reich was ze vorlds largest art movement! It vas all about making our artistic vision a reality! Ze NAZI party vas the vorld’s largest art group! NAZI stands for Naturalist Artists Zeroing In. Ze truz zat people fail to realize is zat I vas ze vorlds most famous artist!!!

Now, let me zay zomezing about zis article:

I really love zis article! Zer is nothing more “Texas Visual Arts” zen promoting unt artist from Boston showving in New York! Zis ist really fantastic! Texanz shoot be expozed to artists from ozer places you know?

But zeriously, I don’t really underztand vat ist zo cool about zhooting peeple or ze being shooted for ze political reazons. Do you know how many people mein artist group shot for ze political purpozes?

Ever zeen ze Guernica painting? You know, Picasso gave uz ze credit for making it! Ve azked him “did you do zat?” unt he zaid “no, you did”.

You know, Chris Burden reminds me of ven I vast a little kinder unt I uzed to have ze friend who vould eat ze buggers unt he vould punch himzelf in ze face in exchange for mein chocolate milk. How much fun!

Burden ist a lot like ze Steve-o of ze art vorld really. I vonder who ist ze greater artist? Steve-o ist certainly much more famous unt I zink very daring too unt maybe more creative. Ze Chris Burden ist very daring but I don’t know if ze Chris Burden haz ze knockers to shoot ze bottle rocket from out of his arsh…

Look! I found ze video of ze Steve-o performing unt zimilar art piece to ze Burden vork called “shoot”! Vow! Contemporary art ist zo cool!

Vell, anyvay, zince I am back from ze dead, unt living in ze future I figured zat I might ast vell collect mein thoughts about ze art in mein blog zo feel free to ztop by unt zay heil-o. https://adolfhitlersghost.wordpress.com


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